Thank you

Hmmm.. after previous post, i’d like to write bout my best friend’s story…

Hmm i like to write a lot bout her here.. and her thoughts, her stories always in some way strengthen me.. give me a new thought of life…

Okeh let the story begin..

 

It’s about 3 weeks ago…

 

“Hey i’m going to go there from xx to xx. And i’m going to stay nearby”
Suddenly that message informed to her

“ow great then, have a nice day then”
nothing she could replied beside those words.. while she was playing with her thoughts, will they meet, wont they…

The one who sent that message was her xBF… the one that still filled up her days and head.. But in my point of view, she’s much much much better than before… surely

Gal…by the time, you’ll be totally recovered 🙂

additional background… that man already had a GF in couple of weeks after the break up.

she was worry and happy..both feelings mixed up in her heart…
In one side she wanted to see him, but in the other side she thought it’s better not to meet. but she wanted to…to know whether he’s fine, whether he’s happy now.. all the messy things in her mind..

There no news bout his cometh, dunno what time he’ll came, dunno what will he do.. all she could do just wish that he will arrive safely and spend his days here happily…

(huff… why it’s seems like so hard for release someone means a lot in our life huh??)

 

until that day..

 

That nite she wanted to have some snack..just a hot milk to calm down the anxiety in her heart..
As she walked to the shop near her place…her thought was messed up, whether she’ll see him or not.. in case she saw him, then what should she do.. but it’s kinda impossible to see.. but she kept put that possibility in her thoughts…

just right in front that shop…

she heard a sound….the sound that’s so familiar to her… the sound that ever filled up her old days…

It can’t be..
But she knew that sound so well..

“It can’t be…. it can’t be him”, she whispered..

She stopped right in front of that shop.. 2 men inside of that shop stared her strangely..

“what happened to this gal.. suddenly stoped her step here…”..Those men must think like that…
*that’s a scenario that played on her thought*

All the thoughts messed up in her head in a very short time…

Should she went in shouldn’t she…

those men already saw her,

it must be strange if she just walked by…

The shopkeeper already saw her too…

But if she came…

if it’s true…. the sound that she heard..

if it’s him…, What should she do???

So be it…
anyway, that’s what she wanted before too… she put a small hope to see him .. ( in case her ear wasn’t wrong)

She stepped in that shop…

and…

it was him….with his 2 friends

 

“Hey…how could you know i’m here” Suddenly he said that…

She replied, “Ow..i just want to stop by to buy a milk.. and suddenly i heard your voice.. “

and the short talks happened…

“1 milk, take away”

The plan to enjoy a hot milk there just dissappeared… she just wanted to go from that place…

Wait…

What’s on his hand….

..

It’s a smoke..

..

He wasn’t smoking before… but how could that thing happened to him?
He ever did it before… when he’s on a big trouble… he felt so down…

but then he recovered…

“But now?? What’s wrong to him again??” those questions swimming in her head..

she pushed her self to see his eyes… (haiya.. the thing that i won’t do if i were in her position ^^)

And she looked…

 

But why she looked a sad eyes there… a fake happines that he showed up here…

That’s what she thought…

 

That event troubles her days (till now = =’)

 

That nite, just right after that event… she called me…

She called me to say…

“It’s happened…all the wishes i prayed for these days..
it’s happened… I’ve seen the answer of my prayer”

“Heh??” I answered confusedly.. still didn’t understand with that..

“i just saw him… not only saw, but also we had short conversation
To see him like that..really break my heart again… i’m so sad….”

“Are you okay???”, I asked in worry…
but still afraid to ask in detail.. i started to get the big picture of it…

“Yes, i’m fine.. i do fine… i just need a time to understand it all..I’ll tell you, if i’m ready ..
Just still confuse, is it the end of everything, are these the answer of all my prayers…
Please pray for me”

“Ok…be good, okay?? I believe you wont do any silly thing… I’m ready anytime”, that’s all i could say to her…

I know, it must be hard for her…
That man knows very well she hates smoke…and he also didn’t like smoke..

But now??

Just wondering how could people change so drastically..

All i could do that nite, was waiting for news from her… and keep wished her for the best…
She’s a strong gal, she’ll pass it well…

 

in the next day,

 

as usual i went to campus, signed in messengers preceded all the work things ^^..

[ msg window splashed on my screen ]

she : “hey there… i’m fine here… you must be worry for me rite?? Sorry to disturb your nite yesterday”

Me : “Haiya..no worries laaa… But i do worry about you…that must be hard on you rite?… what do you want me to do?”

[then a long chat happened… she told me the event that nite in detail..]

“if only..
if only i had enough courage to ask…
if only i had enough strength to stay in that place longer…
if only i had enough will to debate with him, when he insisted to treat me for that milk..
but i didn’t have those all… all i wanted that day just…want to go from that place hastily..”

“it’s just so sad to see him change like that…sadness, dissapointed, pity.. those feelings mixed in my heart..”, she said….

I braved my self to ask her…. “did you regret it? did you regret that you weren’t there longer”

“nope… like i said before..it’s the answer to my prayer…”

[this point I used to proud of her, no matter how bad it is, she never regret on something]

“how could it be?”

“I ever asked for a guidance… if it’s too impossible for me to forget him..and let him go.. is it possible for me to see something that can release me from this feeling…”

* speechless *

“and here i am…i saw it… rite in front of me..”
“after all the whys in my head… i’d like to thank him for that nite”

“Heh??? Thank him?? Are you okay?? What for??” i asked totally confused..

Thank him for what???

 

“i thank him for what he did las nite.. thank you for helping me to release him from my heart.. thought it’s still not totally..but it’s really helpfull..
thank you for answering my prayer..directly..
thank you for helping me to better step of life.. though it’s not totally..
but thank you for helping me.”

“i ever asked him before… for not doing something like that in case he’s in trouble… but..he choosed his way like that…he keeps doing that..”

I asked curiously, “Why don’t you just ask him and warn him again?”

 

“Dunno, if you were me, what would you do?.. What would you do if you see someone that you love, someone that you care… showed up like that…
He knew how I hate that, I’ve told him before, not only because I hate it, but also it didn’t good for him… “

I don’t know whether I could give you my opinion directly now. Normally speaking, people will suggest you to remind him back.. But I know it’s too hard for you.”
“I might not help you a lot by suggestions… but my friends might. “

 

[last week]

 

She :

Well i don’t know, am i have enough courage to greet him first… to ask him about that thing… i choose to be like this..
let me have that thought of him… is it will be better for me?

I thank you to your friends that give opinions in my case…

But sorry i don’t think i’m able to do number 2 like you wrote…
i have to admit it i guess…i’m afraid to do that… i’m afraid if i know his problems more… it’s enough for me to know that he has problem for now..
it’s quite bothering my mind… and it’s enough for me..

But it doesn’t mean i do nothing…
I keep pray for him from afar.. i believe someday i’ll get the explanation for all of it…
someday, when i’m stronger than now..

someday, the perfect day will come, i’ll know what’s behind it all… what can i learn from it.
someday, but not now…

Me :

If you choose to be like that, I won’t complain you anyway,
I’ve seen how much you hurt so far, how worried you… if that things can make you feel better, I’ll support it 🙂

End of story

 

Huff…Life will never be easy for anybody…
But something for sure, there must be something we can learn behind it…

And things i learned from my friend…
If you’ve choosed to do it, let there be no regret, no matter how bad the consequences, .
Just enjoy what you feel, what you have now…
Share your problems might help you alot, don’t think of it by yourself. Cos friends really help a lot 🙂

Good luck to you my friend 🙂

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